Welcome to issue #007 of Unicorn Parents. Each week, I share practical insights and reflections to help you build a profitable business without missing the magic at home. If you're serious about winning at work while raising great kids, you’ve come to the right place. This is a community built for ambitious parents who want both.
The other day, I watched a dad at the playground try to convince his son to go down the slide.
The kid was frozen at the top, gripping the sides.
The dad tried everything:
“If you go, I’ll get you ice cream.”
“If you don’t, we’re going home.”
“Come on, buddy, you’ll love it.”
Five minutes later, the kid still hadn’t moved.
That’s engineering.
Push this button, get that output.
Adjust the formula until the machine works.
Except kids aren’t machines.
They’re living beings. Each with their own temperament. Their own fears. Their own way of reaching for the light.
You can’t code them. You can’t optimize them into perfection. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t protect them from every storm that’s coming.
Parenting isn’t engineering. It’s gardening.
A gardener can’t force a seed to grow.
They enrich the soil. They prune.
They pull weeds. They wait.
Discipline in this frame isn’t about punishment for punishment’s sake.
It’s pruning.
Correction with a purpose.
The hard work of shaping growth for the long run—even if your child is furious with you tonight.
That’s the difference.
Engineering discipline = efficiency and compliance.
Gardening discipline = formation and flourishing.
One is about control.
The other is about growth.
Sometimes your kids won’t like you. They’ll roll their eyes. Slam the door. Say they hate you.
That’s okay.
They don’t need an engineer.
They need a gardener—patient, steady, unafraid of a little dirt.
That’s how roots deepen.
That’s how respect grows.
And that’s where love lasts.