Teaching Our Kids to Ask for Money
Read time: 3 minutes
Welcome to issue #052 of Unicorn Parents. Each week, I share practical insights and reflections to help you build a profitable business without missing the magic at home. If you’re serious about winning at work while raising great kids, you’ve come to the right place. This is a community built for ambitious parents who want both.
I’m 44.
Too old?
Depends who I’m talking to.
Here’s something most folks don’t think about:
Unless you are fully self-sufficient (and very few people are)
at some point in your life,
you will have to ask someone for money.
That rude awakening hit me at 22.
I was running my first nonprofit.
Bright-eyed. Idealistic. Fired up.
Then I realized:
I wasn’t operating a mission.
I was fundraising.
I jokingly called myself a professional beggar.
I hated it.
As an entrepreneur, I preferred bootstrapping.
Control. Autonomy. No groveling.
But even bootstrappers hit a wall.
There’s always a moment when you need:
capital
customers
investors
donors
a salary increase
a partner
And again, you’re asking.
Why Asking Feels Wrong
If you have a conscience, asking for money never feels fully neutral.
You know you are:
Interrupting someone’s financial trajectory
Persuading them to reallocate resources
Convincing them to part with something scarce
There is sales happening.
And sales feels manipulative, if you don’t frame it correctly.
But here’s what changed for me:
Asking for money isn’t about taking.
It’s about transferring belief.
If someone gives you money, it’s because:
They believe in your mission
They believe in your competence
They believe in the future you’re building
Money is trust crystallized.
The Harder Question
Here’s the real question for us as Unicorn Parents:
How do we teach our kids to ask?
We teach them math.
We teach them coding.
We teach them music and grit and discipline.
But do we teach them how to ask for money?
Because if they:
start a company
raise capital
apply for grants
negotiate compensation
pitch a college
fund a nonprofit
They will have to ask.
If we don’t train them, they’ll either:
avoid it
undercharge
resent wealth
or manipulate badly
None of that is leadership.
What We Actually Need to Teach
Not just “create value.”
That’s too simplistic.
Value is not self-evident.
Something can be objectively good
and still unwanted.
So what do we really teach?
1. Value Is Discovered, Not Assumed
Just because you think it’s meaningful
doesn’t mean someone else does.
Teach kids to ask:
Who actually cares about this?
What problem does it solve?
What pain does it remove?
What desire does it fulfill?
That’s empathy.
And humility.
2. Communication Creates Value
This is uncomfortable but true.
The better communicator often wins…even with equal substance.
Two founders.
Two resumes.
Two products.
The clearer one reduces uncertainty.
When you ask someone for money, what you’re really doing is lowering their fear:
fear of loss
fear of regret
fear of looking foolish
Clarity lowers risk.
Communication is not fluff.
It is economic leverage.
3. Asking Is Courage, Not Begging
The ask is not manipulation.
It’s vulnerability.
You’re saying:
“I believe this matters.
I believe I can deliver.
I believe you might benefit.
Would you join me?”
That’s not extraction.
That’s invitation.
And invitation requires spine.
If our kids never practice this, they will grow up brilliant yet invisible.
For Parents Carrying Both Ambition and Responsibility
We’re in our prime earning years.
We have:
pattern recognition
relational capital
judgment
resilience
This is when wisdom meets horsepower.
If we can model asking well (without shame, without arrogance, without manipulation), our kids won’t grow up afraid of money conversations.
They’ll see money for what it is:
A signal.
A tool.
A vote of belief.
And that might be one of the most practical things we ever teach them.