Raising kids who truly 'know thyself.'
Read time: 3 minutes
Welcome to issue #032 of Unicorn Parents. Each week, I share practical insights and reflections to help you build a profitable business without missing the magic at home. If you’re serious about winning at work while raising great kids, you’ve come to the right place. This is a community built for ambitious parents who want both.
I didn’t know “who I was” until quite late in my life.
And I don’t want my children to repeat that story.
My wife and I have two kiddos.
Same parents.
Same home.
Same DNA.
And yet…they are completely different people.
One is gentle, thoughtful, deeply empathetic.
Risk-averse, studious, steady, nurturing.
The other? Adventurous.
Cooler than I ever was at that age.
Charismatic. Carefree. A natural magnet for people.
Raising them reminds me daily of a simple truth:
Every child is born with a different design.
And our job as parents isn’t to force sameness.
But to honor the God-given differences in front of us.
That’s the heart of the gift-based education I champion at GiftedTalented.com:
Start with their gifts →
Develop them into talents →
Guide them toward meaningful purpose
Before careers.
Before resumes.
Before college applications.
A child needs to know who they are.
For much of my life, I didn’t know who I was.
I wasn’t afraid to try things. If anything, I was the opposite.
I poked here, tried this, experimented with that.
Started projects. Dropped projects. Changed paths. Ran fast.
I mistook motion for clarity.
Momentum for identity.
Thought action trumps idleness.
But running without reflection is just another way of being lost…only faster.
At some point, I realized that the deepest work wasn’t in doing more,
but in being still long enough to ask:
“Who am I, really?”
Not “What am I accomplishing?”
Not “What’s next on my list?”
Not “How do I keep up with everyone else?”
Once I finally slowed down to understand my own wiring…
my running became better.
More directed. More aligned. More alive.
Stillness didn’t stop my momentum.
It sharpened it.
During my day job, I meet 30 to 50 founders a week.
And within minutes, I can see exactly who they are.
I can see their natural strengths.
Their blind spots.
Their instinctive energy.
Their default mode under pressure.
The part of their design they’ve embraced,
and the part they’re still running from.
It has become second nature.
Not because I’m a genius.
Not because I read their pitch deck.
Not because I have a special gift.
But because after years of wrestling with my own identity,
I’ve learned to recognize patterns…
in myself first, and then in everyone else.
I usually categorize business folks into one of three archetypes:
Starter (a.k.a. the visionary):
The idea engine.
The marketer.
The storyteller.
“Let’s try this!” is their natural language.
Maintainer (a.k.a. the operator)
The builder.
The systems person.
They love tweaking, refining, optimizing, improving.
Finisher (a.k.a. the closer)
The dealmaker.
The connector.
They hire the right people, create partnerships, and push the company into its final form—exit, acquisition, IPO.
This is why a gift-based education is so powerful,
even for grown-ups.
Most founders are Starters.
But they get stuck because they never evolve into Maintainers
or never bring one into the company.
And without a Finisher, the plane never lands.
The story never concludes.
The company never exits.
Great businesses require all three.
Great lives often do, too.
I don’t want my children to spend years running without direction like I did.
Confusing speed with purpose.
Confusing busyness with identity.
Confusing accomplishments with calling.
I want them to grow up fluent in who they are.
To recognize their gifts before the world tells them who they should be.
To embrace their natural wiring without shame.
To know where they shine, where they struggle, and who they need around them.
A child who knows who they are
becomes an adult who doesn’t waste decades guessing.
A child rooted in their gifts
becomes an adult aligned with their purpose.
And a child raised with self-understanding
becomes a human being who can actually flourish.
Parenting. Education. Entrepreneurship. Legacy.
It all begins with knowing who you are.